Elijah Nicolle

Over the past few years of my schooling journey, I've become an achiever. I always want to be on top. I was eager. I was competitive. I set a lot of expectations for myself, and I came to become a sucker for meeting everyone's expectations about me. I succeeded, yes. It satisfied me, and it satisfied even the people around me, but you know shit happens. Unfortunately, shit happened to me during my college journey. Got problems? Name it. The family situation got worse, with toxic relationships with my friends and loved ones. The battle is how to act okay every day, mostly in a suicidal and depressive state. The pressure is on the eldest child. Financial problems. Health problems. Academic pressure and problems. The never ending war between me, myself, and the world. How lucky I am to have experienced that all in one. I got affected, yes, very much affected, just like how humans would react. I became wasted. I wasted time fighting, and trying to fix everything on my own, which I

Photosource:co.pinterest.com/pin/772297036116578158/ Looking back on my past blogs, listening to my old podcasts, watching some of my little vlogs,  I realized that I've grown a lot. Now I am laughing at my grammatical errors, laughing at my messed up talks, laughing at the way I look in my old videos.  I assume that some people have already judged me in the way I articulate and express myself before haha, well I am not ashamed for that, because I know that at that time I am still learning, I am still not as professional as other people doing those things in the cloud, even up until now I can still say that am still not as good as those other creators, but that is OK. The reason why I write, why I record myself, and why I upload is I need something to look back to when I grow older. I feel like there is the need for me to leave digital footprints assuming that I will be able to imprint some image or make some impact on other people's life with my own experiences. For I believe