One of my unsolved mystery

                                                            Photosource: https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/187532771972293633/


    

I am here staring blankly on the screen, I don't know what to blog. I just need some companion for today. I don't know why I am having a hard time to express my thoughts lately. Have you already felt this kind of feeling? It sucks you know, cause you can't name what is this "feeling" that you are currently feeling, and you can't identify what is the appropriate emotion that you must express in order to validate it yourself. I can't tell whether I am sad or happy? calm or furious? I don't know, what i am only feeling is this smarting pain within my heartbeats. I can't understand if I am calm or am I just like a sleeping volcano that is ready to erupt anytime? Ha! life used to be so easy but as I get older I can really say it gets harder. I don't know how much time I have left, but I know there were already many times that I've wasted. So yeah, I'm blogging this cause this will serve as one of my digital footprints, weird that it sounded like a goodbye blog though I am not yet leaving anytime soon. Nobody knows what this "feeling" is, but as I assess myself, I think this is one thing that I am keeping away from me, or I have been avoiding from avery long period of time now. I dunno. So I'm just gonna title this blog as "One of my unsolved mystery" cause it haunts me. I know it haunts me day by day. Maybe I am only being such a one tough person or maybe not ? Anyway I know there are also people out there who feels the same way, but just like what I always say, nobody can help us but ourselves only. So let us take time to heal, let us make time for ourselves, let us know ourselves, let us prioritize ourselves, because if we lose ourselves we're doomed. People only care when they want, like when the cut was fresh, but as time goes by, they will just let us heal it ourselves. That is why I am learning to stand on my own, which I think you should too because, people come and go at least we have ourself at the end of eveyday. 
-ofelijahnicolle
xoxo 


Comments

Post a Comment

Thank you for sharing out your thoughts with me! See you on the comment section again on my next blog! :) xoxo

Popular posts from this blog

Continue;

Image
Photosource: https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/764415736767249019/ Pay attention to the little changes that happened to your life.  You are now exactly in the place you dreamed about five years ago.  Amazing right? I know life will give us challenges, that will make us hate the world,  and hate everyone around us, even our loved ones,  but if you'll just gonna focus on the good, then you'll notice that those "fucking situations" doesn't successfully ate you up completely yet, coz there has been so many good things you've achieved.  You conquered all those challenges.  No one knows about your silent battles.  No knows about your sleepless nights.  No one understood the way you feel, and the reason why you have a cope up like that.  Nobody except you. Staying alive after all those years of battling to survive life, is already a win. So don't just give up now. You have a lot more to conquer.  Continue; Don't just stop now. 
Read more

When you fall seven times stand up eight

Image
Over the past few years of my schooling journey, I've become an achiever. I always want to be on top. I was eager. I was competitive. I set a lot of expectations for myself, and I came to become a sucker for meeting everyone's expectations about me. I succeeded, yes. It satisfied me, and it satisfied even the people around me, but you know shit happens. Unfortunately, shit happened to me during my college journey. Got problems? Name it. The family situation got worse, with toxic relationships with my friends and loved ones. The battle is how to act okay every day, mostly in a suicidal and depressive state. The pressure is on the eldest child. Financial problems. Health problems. Academic pressure and problems. The never ending war between me, myself, and the world. How lucky I am to have experienced that all in one. I got affected, yes, very much affected, just like how humans would react. I became wasted. I wasted time fighting, and trying to fix everything on my own, which I
Read more

Life choices

Image
photosource: https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/212443307415146931/ Sometimes I wonder how I ended up in this situation. I always taught myself to stand firm and not to enter circumstances that will make me question my worth, but here I am now. I'm afraid. I'm worried, but I'm holding on to this one thought, that moments are fleeting so as time. If I don't do it now, I might regret it later, that is why I chose to continue. I chose what will make me happy. Even if its temporary. Even if I don't know where it'll lead me. Even if I feel lost sometimes. Even if I feel hurt sometimes. Even if I feel empty sometimes. We all feel that way at some points of our lives tho. I know it's only me, myself and I who's killing me, but I also know what are the things I need to go through as a human being. I still believe in better days, I also acknowledge melancholic days. I think, in order for me to survive this kind of situation is to not figure everything out for once in a
Read more