Elijah Nicolle

photosource: https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/212443307415146931/ Sometimes I wonder how I ended up in this situation. I always taught myself to stand firm and not to enter circumstances that will make me question my worth, but here I am now. I'm afraid. I'm worried, but I'm holding on to this one thought, that moments are fleeting so as time. If I don't do it now, I might regret it later, that is why I chose to continue. I chose what will make me happy. Even if its temporary. Even if I don't know where it'll lead me. Even if I feel lost sometimes. Even if I feel hurt sometimes. Even if I feel empty sometimes. We all feel that way at some points of our lives tho. I know it's only me, myself and I who's killing me, but I also know what are the things I need to go through as a human being. I still believe in better days, I also acknowledge melancholic days. I think, in order for me to survive this kind of situation is to not figure everything out for once in a

Over the past few years of my schooling journey, I've become an achiever. I always want to be on top. I was eager. I was competitive. I set a lot of expectations for myself, and I came to become a sucker for meeting everyone's expectations about me. I succeeded, yes. It satisfied me, and it satisfied even the people around me, but you know shit happens. Unfortunately, shit happened to me during my college journey. Got problems? Name it. The family situation got worse, with toxic relationships with my friends and loved ones. The battle is how to act okay every day, mostly in a suicidal and depressive state. The pressure is on the eldest child. Financial problems. Health problems. Academic pressure and problems. The never ending war between me, myself, and the world. How lucky I am to have experienced that all in one. I got affected, yes, very much affected, just like how humans would react. I became wasted. I wasted time fighting, and trying to fix everything on my own, which I

Photosource:co.pinterest.com/pin/772297036116578158/ Looking back on my past blogs, listening to my old podcasts, watching some of my little vlogs,  I realized that I've grown a lot. Now I am laughing at my grammatical errors, laughing at my messed up talks, laughing at the way I look in my old videos.  I assume that some people have already judged me in the way I articulate and express myself before haha, well I am not ashamed for that, because I know that at that time I am still learning, I am still not as professional as other people doing those things in the cloud, even up until now I can still say that am still not as good as those other creators, but that is OK. The reason why I write, why I record myself, and why I upload is I need something to look back to when I grow older. I feel like there is the need for me to leave digital footprints assuming that I will be able to imprint some image or make some impact on other people's life with my own experiences. For I believe

https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/46091596178048650/ Dealing with toxicity has been already a great challenge for all of us.  As days goes by we experience different levels of toxicity in our lives. Some are being challenged by the people around them. Some are being challenged by their work or their co-workers. Some are being challenged by their family. Some are being challenged even by themselves. Toxicity is inevitable, because we tend to not break the chain. That is why I salute those brave people who have the courage to break such norms,  but remember that no matter how much good you are...  people will tend to always have their guns loaded with bullets,  circling in there and always ready to shoot you.  They will test your patience until they prove everyone that you're the one in the wrong. It always works that way. It all fucking works that way. Nobody will give a damn for you, it's only you yourself  who will. So might as well mind your own business, and expect that you will

Photosource: https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/11751649019693138/ The pages has turned and I am giving myself a fresh start to learn something new, to improve and to leave everything behind that has been already part of the past.  2022 has been one of my best year, I got a lot of achievements, realizations, and lessons. Now I have this urge to do more and be more, but the only problem is I don't where to start, just like writing a story without a proper beginning.  I am lost with my words, and I can't even force myself to move because there is something that hinders me inside.  Am I afraid?  Am I ashamed?  Am I doubting myself?  I don't know maybe some you already felt this kind of feeling.  Maybe I am just being overwhelmed by my thoughts? or maybe I'm just over-reacting . I have so many plans but I can't even pick one to start with because  I want it to be accomplished right away. Then I realized that I should take everything slowly and just patiently wait for my turn

Photosource:pinterest.ph/pin/1055599903042640/ What do we do to sustain our relationship How do we keep our bond?  How to keep the fire burning? It suck that we tend to end everything up when we experienced some life fucking situations.  Does the number of how long you've been together equate love? Hell NO.  Does miscommunications, arguments equate LOVE? Hell NO.  Love is not always about kisses, roses, and butterflies.  Face the reality itself.  As you grow, your love will also grow in so many different ways, it's a matter of how long you want to choose each other.  It's a matter of how will you gonna help each other overcome that life fucking situations to come up with a solution.  Grow on your own.  Growing on your own is different from growing together, but growing on your own doesn't mean that you're abandoning each other, you cannot always depend yourself to your better half, you should also learn how to grow on your own.  If you'll both want to work your