My POV this time



Photosource: https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/517914025909176780/


It's me. 


Yup she's that girl. The talented one. The pretty one. The intelligent one. The great one. The brave one. The strong one. The versatile one. 


The idea they had of me, who was she? Little did they know the real me. 

Yes, being praised by many gives me such a feeling sometimes, but that doesn't mean that everyone is just barely giving me praises. 

Behind those praises there hides some envy. 

Behind those praises there hides some judgements. 

Behind those praises there hides some insecurity. 

Behind those envy there hides some curses. 

No matter how many friends I have , no matter how many times my family tells me that I am loved, no matter how many people admire me, I still have nothing. I still know nothing. I still don't exist. Nobody's knows that I am drowning, and when I am drowning that's the moment where I could only breathe. 

Nobody hear me. They say I'm a great speaker, but they don't even listen. It is because I've been silenced for a very long time. It's a defeaning silence. No one cares. 

All your care are shallow. I don't ask for it, you initiate it. Yes I appreciate it, all those comforting words. But why does all of it appears, to be just like for "show". 

Yes I maybe blessed with talents, I maybe blessed with intelligence, I maybe blessed with beauty, but the saying is right. "You can't have everything" 

I've been barely living. I'm searching for something I don't even know. I'm searching for that missing pieces. I'm living this chaotic life. Everyday I breathe this air of melancholy, fighting this inner demons. Nobody can save me. This time I am letting myself to have this favor. Then only favor that I can do in order for myself to save me, it is to play numb, and ignore everything, even the greater good. 



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